So sorry Blackwood, sounds like you need a mental break if you are crying every day.. It is a lot easier to think without the pressure.
Can you say you are "taking a vacation" or "break" ? Use that time to just chill.
I agree with the idea I'm just getting your head in the zone and thinking about JW as a business. No emotion just go to the meeting and zone out and read things on the internet and think of it as you do not care about it.
As far as service goes, I would try to get out of that it sounds like that is the biggest pressure on you. What can you do about it? Perhaps you can say you need a break from that too because people ask me questions you cannot answer or deal with and you need a break.
After a time just tell your parents that it is too much pressure on you and you are feeling depressed and it is affecting your health.
Many hugs to you, cha ching